I loved you then… I love you now… Always have… Always will
The Mister and I met on Christian Mingle back in the Fall of 2008. As we exchanged emails over the course of a few months, we began to really get to know the person on the other end of the computer screen. Our email exchanges grew from a few lines, to a few paragraphs, to eventually a few emails a day! I later learned what it meant for him to send me an email each morning before work. Let’s just say mornings are not his thing! I eventually agreed to met him in person for our first date – January 1, 2009.
After all these years I can still see his tall, brawny figure walking with his hands in his jacket and my heart still skips a beat. After we said hello, I had to confess that I’d had mixed wine and champagne the night prior so I was not feeling seafood. He mentioned an Italian place close by and asked me to follow him. So I follow him… right to his car and jump into the passenger seat. I KNOW … right? It is important to mention here that I felt very comfortable with him. I mean we just spent almost two months learning so much about each other. The fact that he was just as hot as his pictures I guess to 2009 Ashleigh… it was enough? A few weeks later he mentioned he meant for me to follow him in my car… OPPS!
We closed down the restaurant and ended up chatting in his car until the wee hours of the morning. We just didn’t want to leave each other. He had to work the next day though so we did have to say goodbye but made plans for when we would see each other again.
We spent every weekend together from that point on until August of 2009. One evening he ended things. He said that we were in two different places and felt that it would be better to let me go and find someone who wanted the same things that I did. To say he broke my heart, would be an understatement.
I spent the next few months dealing with some baggage that I had brought to the relationship and taking stock of what I wanted in a future husband. I learned a lot about myself and what I deserved in a life-long partner. To be honest, the man he was in that relationship wasn’t it. So I moved on.
I had been seeing this guy and I could tell things were on a track to a relationship. The idea gave me a panic attack. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with the Mister. It wasn’t his fault and I hated breaking his heart. But mine, now mended, was never really given back to me. I reached out to the Mister va text message. Removing the games I simply said, “I miss you.” Pure honesty, mended heart exposed to be broken again. To my surprise he wrote back, ” I miss you too.”
We chatted for a few days via text messages and then I remember standing on the train platform getting all hot and bothered telling him to not talk to me again! I don’t recall all of the details but I remember he had mentioned how much he missed me and how he wishes that things had been different. He shared with me how often he thought of me and things like that. I am sure you are wondering why those would lead to my telling him not to talk to me again. Turns out he was kinda seeing someone. I remember saying to him that it was inappropriate to say these things to me while still talking to someone else. So I quit talking to him.
Second First Date
A few days later if not the next day, I don’t recall the timeline. He let me know that he had ended things with her. Then the huge 2010 snowstorm known as Snowmageddon hit and we spent the entire week, while each stuck in our own homes, learning about each other all over again.
As soon as the storm lifted he asked me out on our second, first date. It was set for February 14 2010 – Valentine’s Day! I had so many stipulations, the main one being that this was a first date. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend and we would not act like one. Which meant first date behavior only.
We went bowling and I kicked his butt! It is important to note here that I have never since beat him at bowling so I think he let me win. He likes to say that he was just too distracted.
Afterwards, I made him take me to the most expensive place I knew of in the area. As we stood waiting for our table we didn’t have much room for personal space and before I knew it, I was wrapped in his arms with my head on his chest and he was resting his chin on the top of my head. He would later tell me that it was that moment that he knew he loved me and that he had made the biggest mistake of his life sending me away.
That night after dinner he vowed that if I gave him a second chance he would never again break my heart again and would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. It has been almost 10 years since that night and he has kept his promise everyday.
Our love story has two chapters with a six month interim. I told him there would never been a third chapter. We are both thankful for the interim, though painful, it taught us a lot about ourselves and what we wanted for the future – each other. Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time.
Though he knew that night, he would not find the words to express his love for me until December. He planned a special trip to NYC at Christmas time, something we both had always wanted to see. It was the most romantic one trip ever!
The following April he took me back to NYC to see it in the Spring. I had a feeling something was up because his hands were shaking as we walked closer to the Bow Bridge plus he had been acting funny all day long. He knew his behavior would give him away but he wanted to catch me off guard and boy did he! As we stopped at the bride to look over the water, I remember thinking “Could he be proposing?” Then I heard the four words that will send me into “Auto-listening mode” in a heartbeat, ” I did some research and it turns out this bridge has been in a lot of movies and TV shows.” He rambled off a list of movies the bridge had been featured in and just like that the thought vanished from my mind.
Then I heard something that instantly made me turn to him and say, “What did you say?” He mentioned a TV show’s name… “No, before that.” He mentioned a movie title with a huge grin on his face. “No, after THAT.”
“Ashleigh gets engaged on this bridge”
I still have that post it note!We were married a year later in our home church surrounded by friends and family. We became parents with the birth of our first little mister in 2015 and completed our family in 2017 with the birth of our last little mister.
Looking back on our story, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’m forever grateful for that strong young woman who swallowed her pride and forgave the man she loved with all her heart, for breaking hers.